Personal Project, Photography, The 100 Days Challenge

005/100 Days Project: Self Portrait Photography

I was having a conversation over a messaging app with another fellow photographer in my community, and I was telling him how I have this desire to photograph the person I date or marry for the whole of my life – the small day-to-day gestures and activities, that I want to make a project out of it. That I have wanted to do it for a very long time.

During the course of the conversation, we both said that we are waiting for the day when we will have enough money to hire models to shoot the frames we have inside our heads, because both of us had earlier tried posing our enthusiastic friends as models but more often than not the relationships got strained – to such an extent that we had fall outs.

Well, I was carrying a lot of shame when I lost several friends when trying to shoot a project with friends. The project fell apart, and I started hating photography itself. But after hearing this other photographer go through the same, suddenly all the shame was released.

Another thing we both agreed on was that, if we hire models for our shoot, it will be much more difficult to create the emotions in the frames that we could easily create if we were shooting someone we already knew or even better, loved. We would simply be recreating the mainstream frames that are already popular out in the world.

That also got me thinking about this 100 Day Self Portrait Photography Project. Another cinematographer friend of mine was honest to tell me that the frames I’m creating here are good but they’re way too common. And suddenly the dots connected – I don’t have a proper emotional intimacy with myself, my own body. And I realised that I’m actually not being vulnerable enough when photographing myself.